It's a topic that keeps creeping into my mind and so I am going to unload it all on you. If you aren't a fan of pedantry you might want to look away now.
There are some amazing lyricists out there. Whether they are penning punchy pop tunes or heart wrenching ballads, some people just have a great talent when it comes to writing song lyrics. But I'm going to be pulling out a few lyrics that don't quite bang the nail on the head. And some miss by a mile.
To start we have Rihanna. And although she didn't write it, we're going to pin the blame on her anyway.
"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world". That sounds pretty romantic, right? If you're the only girl in the world then his eyes aren't going to start wandering and you are going to be the only one for him. Fabulous! But on the other hand, you're the only girl in the world. There's a big chance that he's settling, love. I would rather feel like there are plenty of other girls out there but know that he chose you and only wants you. If there's only one apple left on the tree, your options are limited.
Next? You may recall that in Beauty and a Beat, a certain Justin Bieber claimed that "we gonna party like it's 3012 tonight". 3012? It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue and although it fits the line pretty well, it really doesn't sound quite right. But I'm going to let him off on this one, and not just because he didn't write it. What year are we meant to say now when we're looking to the future? Prince sounded a little concerned about the new millennium and instead he told us "party like it's 1999". Meanwhile Pulp said "lets all meet up in the year 2000". And I think Busted still have a pretty strong hold on the year 3000. And so I'm going to let the pop munchkin off, because quite frankly I can't think of a date that doesn't sound a little bit odd. I still think 2013 sounds weird.
Lets swing back to 2009 and remember the delightful Soulja Boy repeating the line "kiss me thru the phone" in what I like to think was a desperate plea for a dictionary. I spent a lot of time shouting "No! That's not a thing!" and hoping the world's addiction to the song would soon be over. A year or so later I found myself submerged in Cheap Trick and my ear drums were feeling very spoilt. Until, when listening to I Can't Take It, I heard the line "You're kissin' on the phone". I was heartbroken. My new found pop-rock heroes were singing about the same concept I berated. And so to avoid diminishing one of my favourite songs, I have to forgive the irritating lyrics of one of my least favourite songs. Just promise not to kiss me thru the phone or I will cry.
There are plenty other song lyrics out there that are worth moaning about. Drop me a comment with lyrics that annoy you and I'm sure we can have a ranty discussion about it! If you need any inspiration I recommend watching Ed Byrne talk about Alanis Morisette's Ironic. He sums it up beautifully, That's not ironic, that's just stupid.